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Thursday, October 16, 2014

A Homeschool Mom's Deep, Dark Secret

A Homeschool Mom's Deep, Dark Secret by

I believe that most people who know me probably think that I have it all together as a homeschool parent. My house is pretty organized (on most occasions), I am a strong cheerleader for the homeschooling movement, I lead a homeschool support group, and my children are performing academically well. However, what people may not know is that I have a deep, dark secret, one that I feel lead to share.

Are you ready?

Often I fantasize seeing myself walking my youngest son out our front door, watching him step inside a school bus, and waving good-bye to him as the bus pulls away.

Being a homeschool parent is not always an easy job, especially when working with a strong-willed child.

Can anyone relate?

My youngest son is argumentative, stubborn, and persistent. This is the child that has brought me to my knees before my Lord. He is also the child that has filled my heart with joy whenever he runs to me with a big hug, blown me away with his sharp wit, and taught me what generosity looks like.

However, being his teacher is sometimes so difficult that in my anger I have found myself threatening to send him to public school.

So what keeps me going? Why do I continue to homeschool this child?

The simple answer, because I love him.

The other reason, ironically, is because of his argumentative, stubborn, and persistent personality. I believe that learning at home will provide him with the best opportunity for success. No other teacher will have the one ingredient necessary to teach my son, and that ingredient is love, the love that I have for him.

There are days that go very well, and those are the days that help keep me going.

Having him at home allows us to have conversations throughout the day. It offers us the freedom to pray together and provides me with the opportunity to better understand my out-of-the-box son.

Also, every day is full of hope.

I am certain that on occasion I will continue to have the same fantasy. However, my hope is that one day it will be replaced with a new reality, one in which my son grows up to be the young man God intends him to be. In the meantime, I will continue to rely on God to help me through this stage of our homeschooling journey.

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  1. I understand this feeling, but I fantasize about having an empty nest. I know I'm supposed to dread the day when my kids are on their own and no longer living in our home, but I'm looking forward to it.

    I know I will miss them terribly, and they are the loves of my life, but I also love being alone. I haven't had any expectation of free time or privacy for 25 years.

    The first thing I plan to do after my kids all move out is shower with the bathroom door open.:D

    1. "The first thing I plan to do after my kids all move out is shower with the bathroom door open." That made me laugh.

      I, too, have a list of things I am looking forward to being able to do once my children are all grown up. I am enjoying this time with them but still look forward to those days where I will no longer be teaching, and can do those fun activities I don't have time or money to do now. :-)

  2. Thanks for sharing your secret. I have one particularly trying child and I know the secret to perseverance is staying on my knees. I needed to hear that today!

  3. Hi Clara,
    A first time comment on your great blog here! Love this post since I often catch myself dreaming of what life would be like if my 4 oldest were in brick and mortar schools and I was home alone with my 14 mo. old. The house would be quiet, yes, but I would have to entertain my 14 mo. old all day and that's what the big kids do so well! :) But like you said, the pros of homeschooling my 5 outweigh the many challenges for sure! Love how your blog title is similar to mine too :) I blog over at "A Slice of Smith Life" :) Have a blessed weekend!

  4. Oh and I forgot to add that my 4th child, age 6, sounds alot like your youngest: stubborn, independent, strong-willed! OH the battles we have had! It's good to know I'm not alone :)

    1. I agree, it definitely helps to know that we're not alone. :-) Thanks for leaving a comment!

  5. I know who to approach one day when I have children ;-)


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